You Pet, Therefore I Am
I pet and praise a lot of dogs, all day long, actually. From the moment I wake up until I go to bed, I talk, encourage, clarify, praise, scold, and have hundreds of conversations with dogs.
Tod has opinions on when breakfast is served, as well as his next snack. London wants to go for a walk right now, and Brea wants to show me her newest sock.
My youngest pup, Kassie, is learning about overnight crate training, and Ripley is learning how to stay still for a second.
Each one of these conversations is built around well-timed, informative praise.
Well-timed, informative praise is deliberate. You are acutely aware of what you are praising, when you are praising, and why. Equally important, you know what you never want to praise.
I never want to praise nibbling puppy teeth, so I don't pet, coddle, or coo when a puppy nibbles my hands or play-bites my face while we're sitting on the floor. That's rude behavior I don't want to encourage.
The petting stops. The talking stops. A sharp “ah” is enough to tell a young pup that they haven't made a good decision. Once the teeth go away, the petting can start again.
It's so important to be aware of the conversation you think you are having versus the one you actually are.
You may think you're comforting your puppy at the bottom of the scary staircase, but in reality, you're telling him that sitting there and not trying to go up the stairs is amazing—and you'll cuddle him for a long time if he doesn't.
But being deliberate with praise doesn't mean waiting for perfection.
We praise for effort. We praise for mistakes, because even when it's wrong, they're trying something different. We praise for the “try,” even when we don't get all the way there.
We praise good choices and right decisions, especially when they have other options.
But we don't mindlessly praise, because we know those four-legged detectives are always paying attention. They're remarkably attuned to our schedules, habits, movements, and behavior, and they listen, watch, and learn from every interaction.
If you don't talk dog every day, it's easy to become disconnected from the conversation your dog is actually having with you, rather than the one you think you're having with him. It's easy to be unaware of what you are truly “saying.”
But your dog knows.
When you're having a training issue with your pup, one of the first questions to ask yourself is: **What am I praising, when am I praising, and why?**
The answer might surprise you.